(Body Art by Eliza Mae Inc.)Steve, Eliza, and I all have the flu-- the vomitting, nausea type of flu. It's miserable and gross. And being nauseous and changing diarrhea diaper explosions is an awful combo, by the way. We've been having lots of mid-day baths to say the least.
But life keeps going. Steve doesn't have time to take a sick day at work, and I'm scheduled to do some training tomorrow at work since Region 10 is finally changing to an all digital/computer documentation system. It's about time, but now I have to spend four hours being taught to do stuff that I already know how to do and then only have a 3 hour break until I have to go back into work and stay until midnight or later. Woo-hoo!
What I need to say, though, is that I feel like my day to day life musings, dilemmas, and emotions (happy or sad or somewhere in between) seem to increasingly be of a nature not appropriate or not fit for this blog format. However, I don't want people who read this blog to think that I'm trying to put up things on here in order to pretend like my life is spotless and jumps from one happily ever after moment to the next.
I am disturbed by pretentious people who hide behind smiles and vapid occupations and obsessions. I have a lot of strong feelings about a variety of things, but I don't really feel like this is the correct forum in which to share them.
Steve and I created this blog to keep in touch with family who live far away from Eliza and who would otherwise not have any idea what she's doing in her life (and sometimes what Steve and I are up to also).
I've thought about creating my own private blog where I discuss topics that I actually find interesting and more transcendent than our pumpkin carvings and our family's affinity for Elmo.
Because I believe that there is real "beauty in the breakdown," like candid, unposed pictures. Life is messy and doesn't always tie up nice and neat at the end of each blog post.
And I know people have the term "airing dirty laundry" for a reason, but I think that this concept exactly is something that brings a lot of people to an explosion of repressed emotion at some point in their lives. But there are also things that shouldn't be shared with the general public because that is a form of inappropriate emotional boundaries. And the loudest opinion does not always denote the deepest understanding.
Some topics I wish to explore on a more personal basis are...
Feminism Sexuality Modern, subtle racism
Mental Illness and Mental Health (2 different things)
Politics Disappointment, disillusionment, and dissatisfaction Loss and grief
Closed-mindedness Alternative medicine Transcendent vs. Imminent fulfillment related to spirituality.
Doubts and exploration of the church as a healthy form of a developing spirit.
Wealth and Poverty, inequality Welfare Good Reads homosexualityProposition 8 personal struggles over-drafting your bank account addictions
disagreements with your spouse (gasp) fighting off ant infestations
And I'm sure I've already lost most readers. No worries. I probably wouldn't have invited you to my private blog anyways- hehe. Don't call me, I'll call you.
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11 comments:
thinking is always a good thing...as is honesty and if anyone doesn't like your laundry...no one is forcing them to watch...
I hope you all feel better soon. No fun to be sick. :-(
I know that you said the purpose of your blog was to keep your family informed about what was going on in Eliza's life and y'alls but shouldn't that also include the ups and downs that y'all are going through?? Its you blog so you can write about anything that you want. Aren't some of the things you want to write about, topics that you would discuss with you fam/friends if they all lived close to you?? So why not share them through you blog?? Just my opinion.
Oh - I hope you guys get better soon! that's no fun - Emma and I are sick right now too. :(
Hope you feel better. I also wonder about what to air on the blog. Sometimes I get totally ready to put up a post and then I think so and so is going to read this. I don't really want so and so to know about this or more accurately I don't really want so and so to think I want their opinion on this - sounds bad but that's how it is.
Yeah, that's how I feel, Kate.
Like I alluded to in my post, I think it's a delicate balance. I think with the blogging format, people also sometimes feel a little too comfortable saying whatever they want and hiding behind the computer monitor.
I also think that sometimes my opinions would make some people feel threatened and defensive, and I'm not really interested in dealing with their issues with certain topics.
However, I do want to open up the discussion with people I respect and who respect me (which incidentally doesn't include all my friends and family).
And some people's personality's just don't find fulfillment from discussing every thing about themselves. It doesn't mean they don't have opinions. The public forum might not be the right option. But if they know more accurately who they are speaking to/with they can feel safer and have more relevant discussions.
I had a close friend on my mission who was an Austrian Jewish convert to the church. His uncle was a psychiatrist and taught that it was important to accept the realities and difficulties of life. There wasn't an "obligation to be happy" or appear happy in their family. I have thought about how important that is...that we need to be supportive of one another when we are sad, lonely, angry or upset as well as when we gather for happy times. I believe that it is essential that we keep talking--or blogging. We can't assume people feel a certain way without giving them a chance to listen or hear what you have to say. But, if we say something, we have to be ready to hear people's opinions, even if they are different than our own. I am learning...
obviously the last comment was not from Abby, it was from Mom
Sometimes I am not cautious enough on my blog, I've had a hard time finding that balance. I spent high school pretending to be 100% perfect and happy and like my life was everything I wanted it to be and WOW how tiring that is. Some of my friends from high school still work very hard to keep that perfect facade on their blogs and when I started a blog I decided...I am DONE pretending that my life isn't perfect because it is not! My blog has been kind of like a liberating thing for me, BUT I do get comments from people that I thought loved and understood me that totally don't and are so closed minded that I want to scream. So maybe being open has caused me to be annoyed with people that used to be my friends, but maybe I don't want to be friends with them anyway haha. Oh goodness...I make no sense! Basically, I think its a personal choice, what works for me doesn't work for everyone. But I can say that your list of topics got me extremely interested rather than distracted!
I enjoyed your thought provoking blog. Your list of topics looks very interesting to me, also.and they are definitely subjects I want to explore.
I hope you all are over that terrible flu!
Never been a big fan of "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." Feels healthier to deal with things as they really are, both good and bad and everywhere in between.
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