O well...

So every once in a while I have one of those moments that makes me feel like every one who sees me can tell this whole adult facade I try so hard to pull off isn't really cutting it.

I've mentioned before that once I finally feel like I know how to be a mom to a 6 mnth old baby, sure enough Eliza turns 7 mnths and all over again, I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing.

Well, that still happens every month.

But it's not just in parenting. Just when I think I've got this marriage thing down, Steve and I argue, just when I think I've got this social work thing down, my group therapy session is a COMPLETE bust and no one shares, talks, responds, I just get a bunch of blank stares.

Or just when I think I've got this whole, 'I'm an independent adult thing' down, the car breaks down, we need to apply for a car loan, buy a new health insurance plan for Eliza and myself, need to re-do our monthly budget, I can't remember the password to our voicemail to correspond with the appropriate people, it's time to start looking for a new rental unit, I get sick, and the cat gets an eye-infection.

Maybe I'm just fooling myself into thinking that I can convince those around me that I'm a mature adult who can handle the responsibilities of a mother, wife, pet-owner, etc., but I'd like to think that maybe most days that's relatively true. Today was not one of those days. So the scene is set for this afternoon...

Things were going fairly well besides being sick. Eliza and I took an afternoon nap together, and I asked Steve to call me at 3:40, just in case I didn't wake up on my own for Finnegan's Vet appointment at 4 (Steve's so nice). So Steve calls, we wake up, and Eliza nurses and finishes about five minutes before the appointment time.

I rush around the apartment looking for silly things like matching socks, winter hats, sweatshirts, wallet, and the cat crate (which I still haven't found).

Meanwhile, the dog is panting nervously and pacing right under my feet because he hasn't gone out for a bathroom break for about 5 hours, Eliza is trying to tackle the kitty and rip off the hat I just put on her, and we're late.
I forget all of the cat's records on the computer desk and figure I better just cut my losses and leave. So I swing Eliza onto my hip, my diaper bag over my shoulder and stuff the kitty into my diaper bag (I know, poor Finnegan). I just let the dog dash free out the door, his leash flapping behind him so he doesn't trip me on the way down the stairs to make it to the grass in time to relieve himself.

I make a bee-line for the rental car, buckle the baby in, the cat climbs under the passenger seat to hide, Mika jumps in behind me, and we take off. The vet office is only one block away... which turns out was still too far because I start to smell something bad. Apparently, the dog was too worried/excited about getting left that he didn't poop before jumping in and now I have a squooshy brown surprise in the backseat which the cat intermittently starts sniffing/maybe licking.
I pull into the vet's parking lot and pull the cat away from the poop and back into my diaper bag and scoop Eliza out of her car seat and dash into the Vet's office thirteen minutes late for our appointment.

I waited to be helped when I caught a glimpse of my reflection and realize my hair (which Eliza thought was SO funny to pull) has poked free of my bobby pin in just a way to be sticking straight up on top of my head. O well, my hands are full.I carefully sit the baby and kitty down with me on the bench in the waiting area, pull a few white cat hairs off of Eliza's paci and enjoy a moment in the afternoon sun, sharing some yogurt covered raisins with Eliza.

I'm convincing no one today.

The vet visit went well. The workers were kind, we're back on the bench waiting to check out, and it's my favorite time of the day. I see his shadow through the blinds and he turns the corner and opens the door... my knight in shining armor.

Steve is off of work!

"Look it's Da-da!!" Eliza and I both beam at the most beautiful man in the world.

"You want a cat or a baby?" The cat sneezes.

He took the baby...

... and I'll do better tomorrow.