Motherhood isn't always pretty

Every time it's time to pick Steve up for work, I always think that we'll just come STRAIGHT home afterwards.

So it shouldn't really matter if Eliza or I don't have shoes, I let the dog come along without a leash, I'm not wearing make-up or I still haven't gotten a shower since my morning workout. No problem because we won't see anyone and we'll just come straight home. And every time I tell myself that, something always happens to thwart my (lack of a) plan!

Lots of times, I just forget to bring my cell phone, which requires me to pull 'Liza out of her car seat and tromp upstairs in my disheveled state to Steve's office on the top floor to let him know we're here.

Other times, I think we'll go straight home so I don't pack Eliza any baby food, and we end up deciding to go to Kate's house to work on paintings or to the library, or to go out to eat b/c we don't feel like cooking. Thankfully, Eliza now can eat a hardy meal of "real people food" instead of only pureed versions, so that's helped.

Usually I just can't manage to find the matching sandal or sock or bow. And at those times, I always worry that people see me and think, why would that mother let herself/ her daughter out of the house looking like that or with no shoes!

Today we were going to meet Steve for lunch, so I threw everything and everyone except the cat into the car along with heated up lunch for Steve and took off in the car. I called Steve on the way b/c I was thinking that maybe since he got to work so early, he might just want to work through lunch and then get off in an hour. He agreed that this sounded like a good plan so I'd see him at about 2:45.

Well, I figured since we had finally managed to get ourselves mobilized, there wasn't much sense in just turning around. We could kill an hour easily. I reviewed my options- library, park, dollar store shopping (helps me blow my shopping impulse without ruining our budget), produce run, Petsmart, or park.

Then I reviewed our resources available to us in the car. I had packed snacks and water, toys, paci, diapers, stroller, wallet, dog. We went to the library yesterday and Petsmart last Friday so we were well stocked on those items. I hadn't worn my tennis shoes so I couldn't go to the gym. Mika wouldn't be able to go into the store with us, and it was a pretty hot day... so park it is!

And then I remembered Eliza had no shoes and Mika had no leash. So this is the part where I employ my McGyver like skills and scrounge around in my Mary Poppins bag aka trunk and see what I can do. I found a 10 ft piece of fuschia colored ribbon from the wedding I attended last month, and told myself that not that many people notice if a baby that doesn't quite know how to walk yet is wearing shoes or not. Eliza hardly keeps hers on anywayz when I do manage to bring them.

So we had a fun time at the park. Swings and giant sand box, water fountain, and luscious grass under the shade of a tree. Great way to kill an hour on a Friday afternoon.

I feel like I should put together a backup kit in my car for times like these that would include an extra pair of shoes for both Eliza and me, a leash for mika, hair things for me and Eliza, water, change of clothes, hair brush, non-perishable snacks, string, batteries, umbrella, $20, and a transistor radio. Yeah, that's a 72 hour kit.

Anywayz, I feel like I totally relate to the Suave commercial....

and it makes me laugh everytime I see it...

the wisdom, joy, and influence of women or "mothers"

I felt it was time to give my requisite mother's day report about now....

Besides the fact that I had to work for about 9 hours of my mother's day, I had a great day for my 2nd mother's day EVER! Steve made me dinner after I got home from work-- he made me the yummy sesame chicken w/ broccoli from my Weight Watcher's cookbook! Which is my favorite meal.

Before we left for church, Steve gave me the option of receiving my mother's day presents now or after work, and so of course I chose NOW! He got me an awesome pepper shaker to match the salt shaker he got me I think for Valentine's day... It's awesomeness can only be done justice via a picture:
Eliza thinks they're her toys. She doesn't realize that her mother has toys too.

And Steve also gave me one of the best types of gifts which is a FREE one! He had gotten free week-long passes for the mother of all gyms in Charlottesville, ACAC. They're doing some sort of 'Get Fit, America!' program where they lure you in for a week o' fun experiencing their Mommy and Me Yoga classes, State of the art machinery all with personal HD cable TV screens attached, Mommy and Me pool classes, top notch step classes, Family fun pool time in the warm water pools, peaceful sunny decks on the top level to quietly read on after you're grueling workouts... all while they let your kid play in a Kid Zone resembling an organic version of Chuckie Cheese's that doesn't allow any peanut products... So they're pretty much the gym gone to Heaven. And I guess they figure that you won't be able to go back to your mediocre $50 a month Gold's gym contract.

So, yes, I was really excited about that gift and love having Steve come work out (or swim) with me after he gets off of work! and we certainly have been tempted to become life-long members after the free week is up.

However, I feel like I would be saying goodbye to the little community I've come to know the last 8 months since I started going in the mornings to work out 3-4 times a week at Gold's. The childcare workers know Eliza's name and she (sorta) knows them. She at least is familiar with her surroundings there. (Although, they said she didn't cry once while she was at the organic Kid Zone today.)

At ACAC, I don't know any of the instructors or classmates--yet. This first year of life with Eliza has often been a lonely one for me, and the gym really helped me feel a lot less isolated from the outside world-- Grown Up World. So it would be hard to turn my back on them... so we'll see!

I received my final Mother's day present today. Presented to me quite (un)ceremoniously by the UPS guy this afternoon-- which is probably the most awesome present EVER!! Steve honored my request / picked up on my not-so-subtle hinting and SLURPED my Blog into a Blogbook. For those of you less familiar with the blogging world, No, I did not make up that verb. Slurp is the real word describing the loading and formatting of one's blog content into bound, hard copy, book form!

And now I have one. It's neat, and I'm stoked to have it for years and years to come and to be able to show to my grandchildren someday or something. Eliza likes reading it too... since it's mostly pictures of her. It's like an Uber-scrapbook or journal. Steve formatted it to begin with the very first stuff we published on this site last year... and it was sooo neat to look through and remember that Eliza really was a round little, slug-like newborn at one time. I had forgotten what she looked like! So I think it's perfect to have my first year of blogging all stored up in one little blue book. Thanks, STEVE! (and Eliza, I guess). She's the one who's given me most of the material to write about this last year).

So happy Mother's Day all...

BUT WHAT I'D REALLY LIKE TO TALK ABOUT IS...

My first summer back from BYU, my dad (who was a bishopric counselor in my home ward), asked me to speak on Mother's Day, which gave me the opportunity to study the awesome and fascinating talk by Sis. Sheri Dew Are We Not All Mothers?

This is one of my favorite talks of all time:

While we tend to equate motherhood solely with maternity, in the Lord’s language, the word mother has layers of meaning. Of all the words they could have chosen to define her role and her essence, both God the Father and Adam called Eve “the mother of all living”—and they did so before she ever bore a child.

Many days my mothering of Eliza feels tedious and wearisome, but I love considering these words. Before I had Eliza, I always thought I'd be a pretty good mom... and although I consider myself a little above the "not terrible" category, I don't really feel like I'm that good at this mom stuff. My house is rarely clean, for example, our clothes are usually wrinkled, and like this week, I'd much rather read about the heroin Chinese immigrants in my Amy Tan novel than dust the bookshelves or clean my kitchen. (Just so we're clear, I'm not giving up on improving my housekeeping skills, but I'm just hoping there's more significant things on which my eternal exaltation depends...)

So I also deeply appreciate Elder Ballard's words from last month:

There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family. Many [mothers]...may have to work part- or full-time; some may work at home; some may divide their lives into periods of home and family and work. What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else.
And, Sis. Dew's concept of "Mother" helps me feel more substantial and valid-- and helps me get through the days of poop-wiping, dish-scrubbing, tear-wiping, and rice-cooking... There is more to this - THANK HEAVENS. There is more purpose to my current existence.

And I believe, like Sheri Dew said, that "all around us are those who need to be loved and led," and that women are fulfilling their "mothering" role through developing their personal capacities to grow in "wisdom, joy, and influence..." and sometimes posterity too.

Which also makes me so grateful for the many examples of this in my life from the women I respect and learn from... my mother, mother-in-law, grandmothers, aunts, sisters, and friends.

This, I suppose, is what the men in the ward who pass out the flowers or roses or what-not on Mother's Day, are trying to express their appreciation for... as awkward and icky as it ends up being.

So Happy Mother's day, women!

My family also had the boon of speaking with Robby ...eer, Elder Meldau, on the phone from Sao Paulo, Brazil!! He's only got a couple of months left on his mission, but we were still thrilled to be able to hear his voice, stories, and spirit come through the phone! My family was able to do a three-way call to me at work... and after a little rearranging of the self-esteem group I was supposed to lead at 1:30, I was able to duck out and enjoy the moment! and I MISS Robby soooo much! It unequivocally was my favorite part of my WHOLE day!!!

And there's only like one month left until our OUTRAGEOUS San Diego trip to visit my Oma on her super-duper 70th bday bash!!! woohoo!!

Called to Serve...

Steve was called today to the Primary Board which is really exciting (especially for me!) because now we'll be teaching the CTR 8 class TOGETHER!! All three of us- Steve, Eliza, and me!

I told my class the news today, and they were really excited! So excited that they insisted that Steve teach next week and graciously suggested that I could be the "candy hander-outer."

Haha. Benched. Darn.

I've really enjoyed teaching this class every other week, this year. They want so much to be good, and they also say such hilarious stuff. I'm really excited Steve will be teaching with me. He has been helping me get my lessons ready all along, so now he'll just actually get credit for it!

Eliza just kinda wanders around the room, crawling under tables and trying to steal the kids' candy. She's a trooper, and the kids are really sweet to her. One of my girls always wants to help me by carrying Eliza around and feeding her snacks in her lap. It's really sweet... but I still can't wait until nursery time comes in 6 months.

Boy or Girl?

I love the NY Times Wellness Blog and have posted about some of their posts that I found interesting in the past, but I've found another couple worth sharing!!

Boy or Girl? The Answer May Depend on Mom's Eating Habits is the first article that caught my interest. Apparently how much a mother eats, or how consistently she eats, at the time of conception may influence whether she gives birth to a boy or a girl! How interesting is that? Apparently Y chromosome sperm thrive on glucose?

This kinda makes sense to me as to how we ended up with a girl b/c around the time Eliza was conceived (she was planned, so I know what I was doing that week) I was like never eating breakfast, and we were in the middle of a road trip where I was mostly living off caffeine and sugar free gum and baby carrots...

I think if I conceived this week, though, we would have a boy... (not going to happen).

However, I've read that gender is also determined by timing relevant to ovulation. If anyone has the slightest interest in learning more about their fertility, I would definitely recommend Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I found it fascinating and helpful to know what happens to my body every day, week, month... but being raised by a nurse instilled in me (and my siblings too) a fascination for the science behind things, so I loved learning the physiology behind my fertility.

Another article that I found very interesting, but that will probably not interest many others is the Psychiatry Handbook Linked to Drug Industry. Since this is directly relevant to my career, I found it very interesting. And I think it's an OUTRAGE that "More than half of the task force members who will oversee the next edition of the American Psychiatric Association’s most important diagnostic handbook have ties to the drug industry!"

For those of you that aren't familiar with abnormal psychology, basically all doctors, social workers, therapists diagnose their clients using the DSM-IV. This is the book that in the past has had homosexuality marked as a mental illness, so obviously they're constantly updating the book. The DSM-V is scheduled to come out in 2012 and will then be the foremost text for the mental health world.

Which is why this is ridiculous and an injustice to the mentally ill in our nation!! ... It's like lobbyists being elected president... okay that's my rant... check out the article, though.

Anyone else have any thoughts on either of these articles?

p.s. A link to NY Times Wellness blog is on my sidebar

and did I trick anyone with the awesome It's a Boy! picture?

I hope so! Just like to keep everyone guessing...

Sleep like a baby...

I just had the sweetest little time with Eliza! She and I were just hanging out on my bed after reading a couple stories. She was rolling around while I tickled her, and I was loving getting to listen to her adorable giggle. Then she and I were just lying there for a minute and this happened:


I couldn't believe it! It probably has something to do with the cold she's fighting and the post-vaccination fever from yesterday's doctor's appointment. But I think I've never seen Eliza cuter than when she's sleeping!

And thanks to Aunt Joan for the adorable birthday blouse (and pants) that Eliza is wearing! So cute!

Eliza's stats from her appointment yesterday are...

Ht: 29 1/8 in
50th %tile

Wt: 21lbs 14oz
70th %tile

It was fun to talk to our awesome pediatrician about Eliza's growth and progress! Dr. Schaurr said that Eliza verbally appears to be on a 15 mnth old level! and I was saying how it seems like Eliza is not going to be an early walker, and Dr. Shaurr said that if you have to choose b/t the two, verbal ability is a much higher indicator of intelligence. So that was fun news! Our little smarty!

I've also been loving how much "imitating" Eliza has been getting into.

These days when we tell her "ahh-ah-ah!" to scold Eliza or discourage her from poking outlets or chewing on yucky/dirty things, she often replies with a rebuttal of "ahh-ahh!" and shakes her finger back at us!! Uh-oh! She also says it to the pets when we're scolding them for something too. It's really funny.

Some of her other new imitations are...

Talking on the phone...

She loves to talk on Steve's or my phone, but is not above converting a remote control or camera to her phone-imagination!

Cooking... or more specifically Stirring!
just like we stir her food and yogurt. I didn't realize she was watching the closely! She likes to stir for pretend and her real food. She loves holding her baby fork in one hand and eating her food with her fingers on her other hand!

(This picture also is an example of Eliza playing "music" on the pots a pans. We've already posted several examples of Eliza's music loving and "dancing" imitations!)

Here's Eliza cooking and stirring with her Oma!

My mom is soo good with Eliza. She can come up with the greatest games and distractions in a flash that Eliza finds fascinating! That's one of the reasons I love visiting Mom-- I always learn so many new fun ideas to use with Eliza! Yay for Omas!

Drawing!!!
with markers! Here is Eliza's first art creation ever. (Front and back)She OBVIOUSLY has inherited the artist genes from Steve and Katy! The other day I was filling out a form (at the portrait studio), and Eliza grabbed the pen and started trying to write on it like me!!

So I busted out the markers at home, and this is what we got! She loves her drawing time now! and our fridge is quickly becoming covered with similarly marked papers... and Steve is ecstatic!

Unfortunately, Eliza's artistic creativity is not limited to a paper canvas...(Bath time!)

We're so grateful that Eliza has had such a healthy first year of life!